Sharing Your Experiences With a Positive Twist

Everywhere I go I get asked what I did to my leg (obviously!)  It seems many people have a story of an injury or even an injury related to mine.  They love sharing the details and talking with me but what I have noticed is they make no attempt to give me hope or even try to put a positive spin on the story.  I get things like "oh I was never the same again.  I have to burn all the nerve endings off in my leg which is hard because then if I cut myself I don't know it."  WTF?  What?  Really?  I also had someone tell me that they were "very active like me and worked out all the time but then their knee was never the same again."  They could not lunge or squat or do any of these movements and "it ruined me forever."  Wow.  Talk about knocking the wind out of you.

Good grief!  I am not by any means saying every day is unicorns and rainbows.  Quite the contrary.  BUT  when I get asked about my progress or my injury, I do always try to put a positive ending or spin on it.  I have found so many more positives in this situation than negatives it's not a hard thing to do. It's all about mindset, as most everything in life is.

I started PT yesterday and although it is quite unpleasant, I can see the changes in my leg and know that every day I am one day closer to walking!!  That is all it takes for me to get through the pain.

We all love "real" but make sure you are not sucking the hope out of someone when you give them your story.   Give them something...  Right? That's what I try to do as well when I share with you. It takes me a couple of days to write my blogs to make sure of this.  Another great life lesson for me. 

Cheers to a fantastic Wednesday!

Recovery Update: Hidden Lessons & Treasures Everywhere

I am now over a month into my recovery.  I broke down and ordered the wheel chair my family tried to get me to order 3 weeks ago. I talk about mindset a lot.  It's a funny thing.  The idea of getting a wheel chair seemed crazy to me.  It was like my mind could not/would not accept the 3-4 months recovery time the doctor was projecting.  How could it possibly take that long to heal?  I'm wonder woman!  Or at least I think I am.  Then reality set in and I realized that it really is a convenience item to help me get through this time of healing.  A way for me to do things with my family.  Like attend a dance concert for our daughter. I am grateful to be able to get one to enjoy time with my family!

Week 1 for me was a total mental train wreck.  I was beyond pissed.  I exercised daily.  I ate clean to an extreme.  I was extremely active, I was grateful for my excellent health, I felt like I was doing everything "right" yet there I was with a severe injury.  How could this have possibly happened?? How could it be that I could not drive or do basically anything for myself or my family?  I take extreme pride in caring for and spoiling my family.  Nothing makes me happier.  Sincerely.  Now that was impossible for the next 3-4 months.  My brain just kept focusing on the "why."

Week 2 came along and I decided I wanted to try to do something every day I could not do the day before.  That made me feel a little better.  But yes, I did of course over do it.  I cleaned the kitchen and did 3 loads of laundry and then I paid the price for the next 2 days.  Regrouped.... then I just did the dishes.  That worked.  Thank goodness. Switching roles from the giver to the receiver was not easy, no matter how kind and loving my family was being.

At week 3  I started realizing  many things.  For starters, asking for help has never been my strong suit.  I am fiercely independent and asking for help does not come easily to me.  It now however is NOT an option.  I have had to learn to be vulnerable, learn to ask for help and learn that it is ok and I am blessed to have people to help me and care for me.  A valuable lesson I would not trade for the world.

I never doubted my husband would take excellent care of me.  Never.  I know many people are not in that situation and I am beyond grateful that I am.  But honestly what I didn't know is how far he would go in caring for me.  Day in and day out.  How much time he spends working on things that "steal my peace" like dishes in the sink, dog hair on the floor.  Things that are completely unimportant in the grand scheme of life, especially right now,  but important to me.  And he not only knows that, he takes care of them. Daily. He puts fresh flowers on my food tray every meal.  He does things that I know most men would not do. I feel more loved than ever.  And for that, the trashed leg is so worth it.

Week 4 brought the end of pain pills and the ability to enjoy a glass of wine! Oh how have I missed being able to do that. I've also learned to "walk" down the stairs instead of sliding on my tush! Progress is slow but is steady. My sweet hubby took me on my first outing and turned me loose. How awesome that was! I wheeled myself all through Barnes & Noble and had a great time. Something I know I took for granted being able to do in the past.

I have more blessings than I am able to count.  I have excellent medical care and insurance.  I don't have to worry about getting to the office anymore as I am fortunate enough to work from home.  I have a beautiful new laptop my hubby got to keep me sharing my experiences on.  I have a husband and a family that love me and care for me like a queen.  With all of these treasures, I now feel nothing but absolute gratitude.

An Exciting Week! Injury & Recovery Week 1

My goodness how life can totally do a 180 on you in only a week!  I never imagined on Sunday of last week when I was goal setting and planning my workouts how completely wrong I was about my week!

This week was Spring Break for my youngest daughter so we slept late on Monday and then planned on going for a walk in the park with our 4 golden retrievers and my hubby, Gary. 

We loaded up and left the house about 10 am,  grabbed some tea and arrived at the park. My hubby was very excited to take us to a new park. We unloaded everyone and as always, we put the two babies (age 6 so not really babies) on a double leash together, Jewelie, the matriarch, on one leash and Gentleman Jack leashless as always. (He normally carries his own leash.) 

We got a few feet on the path when my sweet Jewelie stopped to relieve herself which made us realize we had forgotten our waste bags! We moved over to the side and waited while Gary ran to the truck to get a bag to clean up the mess. Coming down the path was an older gentleman with a medium sized dog.   We held the dogs off to the side, hoping the man would quickly pass us. No such luck. It's literally like he froze with fear at the possibility of having to pass our beautiful blonde pack. He stood there for what seemed an eternity with his snack size morsel of a dog yapping at the pack.  After a few minutes, our pack decided they were going to investigate this man and his pet.

I am not exactly sure what happened but according to Elizabeth, one baby went on one side of my leg and the other baby on the other side, all the while my leg trapped in the middle.  I pulled back trying to get the dogs away from this ice figure of a man and all I remember is feeling a horrible twist and excruciting pain and knew my knee was  gone.  I fell forward into the grass face first all the while still gripping the leashes for dear life as the little man was STILL standing there a foot from me.  I remember my ears ringing and feeling the sensation I was about to get very sick and just kept repeatedly saying:  "please pass" to which he never did.

The next thing i remember is my hubby running from the truck at first thinking this was some kind of practical joke.  I told him I could not stand or walk and I needed to go to the hospital asap.  (Yes the man is STILL there with the barking dog at this point.)  He finally passes and my hubby brings the truck over to me and a park worker helps get me into the truck.

Just for context, I have a very high pain tolerance and going to the doctor or taking medications is at the very bottom of my list of things to do.  I am very blessed to have exceptional health and remind myself of this daily.  The ride to the hospital seemed an eternity for me. We finally arrived at the emergency room and I was wheeled in to register.  Oddly enough, I remember my dogs were incredibly silent through all of this.  Goldens are notoriously known for their ability to feel/sense things.  I was checked in and put into a room about 11:00 a.m.

I was given x-rays and then about two hours later was finally given something for pain. (Yes, another eternity.)  I was given morphine, and if you have never experienced that, thank your lucky stars.  I cannot fathom how people become addicted to that medication.  I literally felt like I was dying and that my body was paralyzed as the medication moved through my system.  Worst feeling ever.  Needless to say I requested an alternative medication after that.  I was then wheeled off by two sweet ladies for a CT scan of my leg.   After returning I asked to be wheeled to the restroom.  What a mistake that was!  They sent a precious young lady to wheel me over and on the way back she accidentally hung my broken log on the trash can and door frame and according to my family I flew from the chair hollering.  I think I scared her to death and needless to say, I was never able to fully manage my pain after that.

It was several hours before I saw the doctor who finally told me I had broken the tibia in several places and pulled the ACL loose.  She said they would be prepping me for surgery that afternoon, therefore no food water, etc.  This was the plan for a few hours and then she consulted with an Orthopedic Surgeon and it was decided there would not be any surgery that day.  This went back and forth for hours and finally at 7:30 pm the Ortho on call came by and made a custom brace for my leg.  He had decided he was not the one to handle my case so he consulted with a parter to take it over who ultimately consulted with someone else to take it on.  WHEW!

A little after 9 pm I was loaded up on medication and sent home with crutches and an appointment for Thursday with the Orthopedic Surgeon.  We met with him on Thursday and he showed us all the images and we came to understand all the confusion that seemed to surround my leg on Monday.  Surgery at this point has far too many risks.  There are many spider breaks in the bone and operating could cause the whole thing to blow up basically.  The ACL is not torn but has however broken a piece of the bone away that is sticking out between my knee & tibia.

He said total recovery will be 3-4 months.  Also that if the leg healed on its own, we could get some healing out of the way and then do surgery to clean up the inside with a lot fewer risks.  I had an x-ray this week and everything looks good and I will go back next week for another x-ray to check the progress and to also get switched to a different kind of brace.

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions to say the least.  I am an extremely active person.  One of the most active people I know of and now am totally immobile.  My right leg is the broken leg which also prevents me from driving.  I am completely home bound.  I am however very grateful that I have a loving family that is taking amazing care of me.  My every need and want is met.  My husband prepares amazing meals served with beautiful fresh flowers.  My neighbors, friends and family have sent food, flowers and baskets to cheer me up.

My fitness and clean eating journey has been a long one.  I have made so much progress and feel I am in such a good place.  I am very fearful about being unable to exercise.  I am fearful of depression.  I am fearful my leg will never be the same.  I am not however letting myself get taken over by all these fears.  I acknowledge them and go on.  I am blessed.  I have a family that loves me.  I have health insurance.  I have excellent medical care.  I am blessed far beyond most. This will be an opportunity for me to understand injury and recovery and share this knowledge with others in the future. Pain is a big issue for me this week.  Hoping for it to be less of an issue next week.

Cheers to next week!


(Here is a pic of me & my little culprits.)